Where I’ll Be

I’ll admit, I’m not exactly sure how to begin this post. Maybe… “So the other day I decided to quit the Internet…” Hmm, no that’s not quite right. How about “So I’ve decided to give up technology…” Nope, that’s not it either.

Since I don’t know how to start, I’ll just tell you this: I won’t be around here for a little while. Or Facebook. Or Twitter.

I recently started Beth Moore’s ‘Daniel’ study. A suggestion from Beth was to “fast” from something for the first half of the study (6 weeks). She chose to give up “rich meats.” She told everyone taking the study that this was certainly NOT a requirement, and not for everyone, but that if we felt led – we could choose to give something up as well. To serve as a reminder, a symbol. That while we are free and not under the law of the Old Testament, there are things in this culture, this world, that while they’re ok in moderation – we can have too much of.   In this study, we are learning how to develop enduring integrity in an enticing world.

Well, I’ll admit that at first, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do the “fast.” I thought of it in relation to food, and I didn’t think that would be a good choice for me. Not to say that I don’t have issues with food. You know I do. But I’m already working on controlling my bad food habits, and I thought if  I tried to give something up, it would turn into more of a “diet” for me, and I would end up missing the point.

But, after the second session, I felt like I was supposed to give SOMETHING up. Then a thought came into my head – but I quickly dismissed it. And then I tried to talk myself out of it: “No, He wouldn’t mean for me to give that up. That’d just be silly. It’s not that big a deal.” But that little thought wouldn’t go away. And the more it floated around in my head, the more I knew THAT was what I was supposed to give up. How did I know? I didn’t WANT to give it up.

I still held out. I didn’t tell anyone what I thought. Until a couple days ago – I finally mentioned it to my husband, and he agreed with me: This was probably what I should give up. (for the same reasons I mentioned already)

So, that brings me here. What did I choose (reluctantly) to give up? Facebook, Twitter, and blogs.

My reason: I spend a lot of time on all three. Not all at once, of course, but frequently and throughout the day. It’s amazing how easy it is to do with a phone these days. And when I realized how difficult it would be for me to give it up, I realized that means it’s become a problem. It shouldn’t be DIFFICULT to give up those kinds of things. But I’ve become so immersed in technology that I take it for granted – and when I’m without it, it’s almost like going through withdrawal. And I don’t think that’s where my head and heart should be.

So I’ll be taking a break for the next six weeks, and I’ll be refocusing my energies.

This isn’t going to be easy. That’s for sure. But I’ll be back, and I feel certain I’ll be better off.

Tomorrow (1/24/11) I begin my ‘hiatus.’ If you need to get in contact with me, I’ll still be available of course. I’ll still have my phone (w/o my FB & Twitter apps, of course!) and I’ll still have email.

You can reach me at kristyheilman (at) hotmail (dot) com. (or by phone – if you need my #, just email me)

Much love to you all and many blessings.

~Kristy~

Embrace the Camera: Movie Time!

It’s Thursday – and that means we’re Embracing the Camera today! Please, join us! (Click the button for more info!)

It’s bitterly cold today, but – ironically – it was colder yesterday and we ventured outside anyhow. Ah well, I had work to do at the church and errands to run. Today, no such obligations, so we’re staying cozy inside.

I wanted to try out the handy remote my hubby bought for our camera. So, I set up the tripod and the boys and I sat down to watch a movie. (Despicable Me – one of their current favorites)

Setting up the camera, and the boys have to “test” it out with some silly faces.

 Zack, the lady killer. He wanted to “pose.” Seriously.

Now, let’s test that remote!

All set. And apparently I looked hungry for popcorn.

It’s obvious why they like this movie. Very funny.

Well, except for that orphanage lady. Austin thinks she’s scary.

Here, Mommy. More popcorn.

Now it’s your turn! Go Embrace the Camera!

Outside Looking In

It’s Wednesday and that means it’s time to Pour Your Heart Out!
Go HERE or click the button to join us!

 Do you ever feel like you’re on the outside looking in?



I do. Frequently.

More often than not, I feel like the “outsider” – like the one who isn’t quite part of the “group.” In many cases, I don’t think it’s actually the truth. Most of the time I’m probably accepted and considered a part of the group – but somehow, I still don’t feel that way. No matter how hard I try to feel otherwise.

I’ve come to realize this is part of my own insecurity, and not necessarily anything anyone else is doing. It’s something I’ve struggled with for years. And somehow, I’ve never quite gotten past it.

Like any kid or teen, I had my struggles with feeling awkward. But it seems that at 30 (still weird to say that) I still feel like that awkward teen sometimes.

I’ve even had the thought that a person (or persons) is just being nice, and doesn't necessarily “like” me. How terrible is that? I know it’s not fair to the other person. But somehow I just can’t seem to get around the thought that people won’t really LIKE me – they’ll just tolerate me.

Maybe I’m holding back more than I should – trying not to let too much of myself out. That way I’m less likely to get hurt. I’ve had plenty of experiences with sharing my whole self, only to be brushed off and forgotten about later. Or I’ll be the one wanting to get together, to celebrate a birthday, to chat on the phone – and it’s not reciprocated.  Or I’ll be ‘replaced’ by someone else.

I guess maybe I’m more guarded than I used to be, due to past hurts.

It’s something I’ve worried over quite a bit a lot more than I should. It goes hand-in-hand with worrying about what people think of me. And you know what? It doesn’t matter what people thing of me. It matters what God thinks of me. And yet I still let myself get caught up in what others think about me, or if they like me (or not).

A friend of mine shared recently, “I strive to remember that while I may be rejected by man, I am accepted in Christ. It is He and He alone who justifies me.” It was exactly what I needed to hear at the time (and what’s funny is, it wasn’t intended for me – but God used it!)

So now, I’m trying to continually remind myself that God accepts me. Christ has accepted me – every broken piece. So what does it matter if I’m not fully accepted by man? It doesn’t matter. My flesh longs to be accepted by my peers, but the fact of the matter is: I don’t have to be.

I’m accepted.

I’m loved.

I’m justified.

By Christ, my Savior. 

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Ephesians 2:4-9

And even if no one else on this planet truly accepts me, I know three guys that do. What grace from God that He would bless me with such an amazing husband and kids that love me, accept me, and like me. They really like me! ;)

 

Snow Day

Last week, the boys and I headed out into the snow to play. It was their first real time getting to play in the snow this winter. Seems odd since we live in Iowa, but winter took it’s time getting here this year (which is ok by me) We had some good snow at Christmas-time, but we were out of state – and it melted just a couple days after we returned (which led to tears from Zack, of course). So when it arrived (in force) this time, I decided we needed to get some playtime in asap.

Of course, I’ve been meaning to post these pics for a week… but millions of things seemed to hold me up. So, without further ado… a Heilman boys snow day!

All bundled up and ready to head out.

Austin is saying “cheese” with all his might…

Zack started making snow angels immediately.

I tried to get Austin to lay down and try it, but he wasn’t having it.

In fact, Austin was highly annoyed that snow was getting on his pants…

I love those little marshmallow legs!

Zack couldn’t wait to go down the “snow slide.”

Austin did eventually “warm up” to the snow and enjoyed himself.

And Zack…Well, Zack ALWAYS has fun.

Zack wanted to pull Austin on his sled. But it never really moved from this spot.

Don’t worry, Mommy got her cardio in and pulled him aallll over the yard.

Anybody else have some fun “snow days”?

Embrace the Camera: Chilly Day Edition

Today, I’ve decided to Embrace the Camera. (click the link or button for more info!) Once again, some of the lovely ladies I know participate in this little endeavor, and I thought we’d give a try today.

 I decided it was just too cold to venture outside today, so the boys and I are spending the day indoors. A challenge in and of itself with these little dudes, but we’re finding ways to keep busy. (mostly snuggling under blankets watching movies and playing with a various assortment of superhero items)

Zack decided he wanted to take pictures, so he grabbed my cell-phone. I apologize for the poor quality in the last four pics! He (we) used the forward-facing cam on my phone, and it isn’t as high res. But we had fun nonetheless!

So on this chilly January day in Iowa – this is us, embracing the camera.

Zacky's handiwork. (Please ignore Mommy's pile o' curls)

Zack's self-portrait

Silly Faces: Take 1

Take 2

Take 3

 Happy Thursday! (or as it shall henceforth be known: Embrace the Camera day!)

I’m Trying to Quit…Comparing

Going to try something a little different this week. Although, not TOO different, since I seem to do this on a regular basis: Pour my heart out.  It’s a series that was started by Shell @ ‘Things I Can’t Say.’ I know some other ladies who participate, and thought I’d join in as well. Go HERE if you want to see more of what it’s about.

Now, this kind of just works with that topic… because there is a new series I’d like to start. One I’ll call “I’m Trying to Quit…” To discuss some of those nagging, negative, or just not helpful behaviors I (and many of us) struggle with.

Today’s topic? Comparison.

I know this is something so many women struggle with, and I’m certainly no exception. It can take any number of forms.

Clothing, hair styles, weight/size, complexion.

Intelligence, wit, conversation ability.

House cleaning, cooking, other “domestic” skills.

We can beat ourselves up over things that – let’s face it – many people don’t even think about. Before we’re married, we compare ourselves to other single women. After we’re married – and then have kids – we compare ourselves to other wives and moms. For me, it’s been a huge struggle. Some days I find myself constantly comparing myself and worrying over things I do, don’t do, or don’t do well enough.
The thoughts that run through my head are usually a little something like…

“I’m not thin enough.”

“I need to be in better shape.”

“My house should be cleaner.”

“I have no decorating skills!“

“Why can’t I just do that the way she does?”

“I bet SHE doesn’t stress over this.”

“Why can’t I have it all together the way she does?’

Comparison isn’t my only struggle, of course. (But you knew that already) My husband tells me often he wishes I wouldn’t be so hard on myself. You see, he doesn’t worry about ANY of those things. He loves me. He loves our family. And he knows I do my best with everything. So, I know it frustrates him when I beat myself up this way.

And you know what? I would be willing to bet that most of our husbands (or our close friends, for the single ladies) feel the same way. They don’t worry about whether or not we “measure up” to some other woman or women. They love us the way we are – the way God made us – faults and all. And they want to see us happy and content – instead of stressing over these things that DON’T matter.

Now, don’t misunderstand – I think taking good care of ourselves, making our house a warm & inviting home, and being educated are all good things. All things we should do. But what we shouldn’t be doing is comparing ourselves to other women and how they accomplish those same things. God made us each so unique, so individual, that it doesn’t make sense to compare ourselves this way.

For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139: 13-16

Let that soak in for a minute. God knit us together. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. He ordained all our days before we were ever born. And I would be willing to bet (even though I’m not a betting woman) that He didn’t intend for us to spend our days worrying, fretting & stressing over whether or not we are like (or not like) someone else.

This has been something I’ve been convicted about lately. How much time have I wasted worrying about these things? A lot. What good is it doing me? None.

So let’s add another resolution goal to the list. I will strive to be content. To be focused on the woman God made me to be, instead of how I’m not the woman next door. How could that lead to anything but happiness and a closer relationship with my Savior? 

I am not saying this because I am in need,

for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

Cold Weather Calls for Comfy Sweaters

So it would seem I’ve hit 100 posts on this blog. Finally. Didn't notice until today that my last post was number 100. Took me long enough – but I actually hope to crank out the next 100 more quickly than the first. My resolution goal is to be a more consistent blogger this year. We’ll see how that goes.
This is what I wore yesterday, but Sundays are jam-packed around here, so I didn’t get a post up. I was lucky to get the pictures taken! (thanks to my awesome hubster) 

Snow? What snow. Temperatures in the teens? Whatever. I’m not cold at all.



No, I’m just an amazing actress. I’m actually freezing. (but this sweater IS very cozy – and cute)



This belt is one of my new favorite finds. Just four bucks at TJ Maxx! I felt in love instantly. When I got it home, my husband saw it and said “Wow, that’s really big.”  I wasn’t deterred.




And are you tired of seeing these boots yet? I really do own other shoes. And I really do wear them. Buuut, not as often as I wear these.

I got a little verklempt yesterday (does anyone still say that word? Talk amongst yourselves…) as I discovered the sole is beginning to part ways with my boot in one spot. As I told my hubby at the time of discovery (and many other times), these are my favoritest (yes, I know it’s not really a word, and as a trained journalist I SHOULD care, but don’t in this instance) boots! I’m hoping they won’t need retiring any time soon… so I may be making friends with my tube of super glue today.

Outfit Details:

Sweater: Apt. 9, Kohls, $25 (sale)

Jeans: Levis, Kohls, $30-somethin’ (sale + coupon)

Belt: TJ Maxx, $4

Ring: Forever 21, $4?

Boots: Younkers, $30 (sale last season)

Life Lessons

It’s been awhile, but maybe you remember when  I said I’d be starting a “life lessons” series? Yeah, and that was the first and only post.

Well, I intend to rectify that situation today. Just a refresher… I wanted to do this series because it seems that I tend to learn things while I’m doing something else. So, I thought it’d be good (maybe helpful?) to gather those thoughts in one spot.

And so, I give you our next installment of Life Lessons:

Things I’ve learned while… Raising Boys.

• Boys (and life) move fast, so when they slow down, don’t miss the chance to wrap your arms around them.
  
• Nearly Absolutely anything can be used as a weapon. Watch your head.
  
• The body’s natural… well, “tendencies”… are hilarious. (ok, so I’m still not sold on this one)
  
• Rough-housing can be fun. So your hair gets messed up – fix it later!
  
• Superheroes are always cool. Always.
  
• Bumps & bruises are just part of the deal. Shake it off, and keep going.
  
• Sometimes you just need to be LOUD!

I could probably keep going for pages and pages. Being a mommy has taught me many things, and being a mommy to two boys has taught me a whole different variety of things. It’s my favorite, and most challenging, job I’ve ever had. (and as a former TV news producer, I’ve had stressful and challenging jobs)

But I know I’ve said before, that I wouldn’t trade it for anything. This season of life has it’s stresses (and days you want to pull your hair out), but it’s packed with joys I couldn’t have imagined.

I’m thankful for my boys, and the lessons they teach me every day (and sometimes every minute).

New Favorites: ‘Sweggings’

#1: Haverlee and Nikki, this is for you.

#2: I didn’t think to use the word “sweggings” until Haverlee (see above) said it. I’m just to old and un-hip to use such words on a regular basis.

#3: I don’t really have a 3, but thought 2 wasn’t enough. Things are usually better in threes…



Yes, it’s true. I bought into the leggings craze. And since it’s winter in Iowa I went ahead and went a little crazy and got SWEATER leggings. (a.k.a. Sweggings) I’m sorry, but I just can’t be sorry about wearing them. (but I can apologize for not being sorry?) 

I have my own personal “rules” when it comes to leggings. And since you’re dying to know what they are (naturally), here you go:

• Must be worn with a shirt that COVERS your backside. (otherwise, you may as well head outside in our t-shirt and pantyhose ‘cause baby, we can see your undies.)

I just realized that’s my only rule. Wow, I really should have thought out these lists a little better. Oh well, I stand by my rule – it’s one I strictly adhere to (and boy do I wish others would, too)

Follow that one rule, and you too can wear a cute outfit that feels like pajamas. Seriously people, is there anything better than that? I submit to you, there is not.

My fashion resolution for 2011? Prove that beauty doesn’t HAVE to be painful OR uncomfortable. (except for eyebrow waxing, which is both painful AND uncomfortable)

Sweater: Target, $30 (a splurge for me) 

Sweater Leggings: Target, $15

Boots: Younkers, $30 (sale last season)

Necklace: Forever21, $5? (can’t remember exactly!) 

All photos by my AWESOME husband!

Crazy

You know, I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself I'm not crazy. But maybe sometimes you just can't deny crazy...


And yeah… pretty sure it runs in the family.




Here's to a crazy new year!

P.S. I hate really don’t care for the last pic of me… but hey, if I’m gonna be honest I figure I should be really honest.