Friday, December 31, 2010

Finding a New “Normal”

So, life sans-meds is different. But we probably knew that already, right? Right. But I guess maybe I had a little notion in the back of my head that I would be magically cured once I made it past the withdrawals and initial adjustment. A completely false idea, but I must have been harboring that hope. I think that’s why I’ve been so frustrated lately.

You see, I have this tendency to be perfectionistic (no shock to my family, I’m sure), as well as being pretty self-conscious about… well, everything. My husband has been reminding me that I need to cut myself some slack. He’s always telling me to stop being so hard on myself. But sometimes I feel almost incapable of that. It’s as though I want to stop my constant worrying and self-deprecating thoughts… but can’t shut them off. And so, I feel “crazy” (for lack of a better word). And then that, of course, leads me into the thoughts that I am not able to cope without medication. And I spiral from there.

I apologize, I didn’t intend for this to be a “depressing” post, by any means. Just a sharing of what’s been in my (crazy) head lately. And to share so as to relate/encourage others going through the same thing. Because here’s the truth: I am not crazy. I can cope without medication. And I already have the victory – because Christ won it for me.

So, as I exit 2010 and enter 2011… I know I’ll continue to find that new “normal” for me (without meds) because…

“…Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”
1 Corinthians 15:57-58
To read more of the story of my start of life without meds… go here and here.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Arrivals

After MUCH stress and debate (with myself) I finally ordered some new jewelry storage items. We're planning a new shelving unit/vanity in our bedroom (still only in planning phase). So, I decided to downsize my jewelry (I may have been was hoarding things from high school that I NEVER wear) and I decided to part with my standing jewelry box that was taking up a lot of space.

Currently, the small amount of jewelry I kept is taking up residence on top of a small bookshelf in our bedroom. Yeah, not so pretty right now. But in anticipation of these new shelves and a possible vanity area for me (finally!) I thought I'd look for things I would really like, would go well in the room, and I would (obviously) be able to get good use out of.

Enter Urban Outfitters. *rousing applause* I caught a peek a very cute jewelry stand in Lucky Magazine from UO (that I love, but wasn't EXACTLY what I needed), and decided to check out what else they had to offer. Short story: It's amazing! I loved nearly all the jewelry storage I saw... which is why I say there was much stress and debate. I had a heckuva time deciding... and my hubby refused to give a deciding vote ;P  In fact, I just now clicked the "Order" button... (after weeks of NOT ordering because I couldn't decide) and couldn't wait to share with all of you!

So, without further ado... my picks.

(I ordered two)

And now... I just have to wait for them to GET here!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Driving Duties

It's almost my drive. You remember when you were a young teen? Not quite 16 and DYING to drive? Yeah, me too. Don't get me wrong, I love the freedom being able to drive brings. But on long trips like this, I don't think it'd be terrible to NOT be allowed to drive. ;)

Please don't misunderstand. My husband is amazing and drives the majority of the 10 hours to Oklahoma City. He's a rock. I usually only drive the last couple of hours. But it usually dawns on me right before I'm about to take over the wheel that I missed my chance to nap. Not every time. But this time....yeah. I was playing with the iPad and not napping. (and taking care of munchkins, too, of course) Oops!

Don't worry. I'll down some (more) caffeine and we'll be good to go. (and then maybe I'll get to nap in OKC)

Location:On the Kansas Turnpike

Blogging On the Road

So, this is my first attempt at blogging while traveling. My husband's friend, Joe, who runs is testing/reviewing the iPad for his site and being the nice guy that he is - he lent it to us to try out.

That's right folks, I'm sending you this blog from somewhere in Kansas, via iPad. Yes, so far, I love it. And yes, it's likely I'll "let" my hubby's talk me into buying one when the new ones come out. ;)

The alarm went off at 4am this morning (yes, we're those crazy people) and we were on the road by 5:30. Me, the hubby, 2 boys & 2 dogs in a minivan heading to Oklahoma for Christmas. About an hour into the trip Zack informed us that he "couldn't sit in this seat much longer." Not a great start. But a little while later when we stopped and got them some hashbrowns from McDonald's and turned on Curious George the movie, we were in better shape.

Thank goodness for food and portable DVD players.

Location:I-70 somewhere in Kansas

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Two Years

Our little Austin turned two this month. I honestly feel like it’s been the fastest two years. We can’t imagine life without our fearless little boy (who gives his big brother a run for his money). He makes us all laugh every day (and sometimes challenges us every minute).
When we first heard he would be born with clubfoot we didn’t know what to do. We were afraid. We were worried. But little did we know that the entire experience would cause us to grow and push us to lean more fully on God. He entrusted us with this sweet boy, and we reaped boundless joy on top of it all.
As parents, we’re usually concerned about what we will teach our children. How we will shape their lives. What we fail to realize sometimes is how much our children teach and shape us. I’m a far different person two years after the birth of our second son – and I’m immeasurably thankful for that. I hope we never brush off how difficult those first few months of Austin’s life were. Even more, I hope we don’t brush off how much we learned and grew during that struggle.
Austin, you won’t read this any time soon – maybe never – but I love you, sweet boy. And I’m so glad God chose me to be your mommy.

Monday, December 6, 2010

One of Those Days…

It’s been “one of those days”…
One of those days when you’d rather just stack the dishes “neatly” than actually wash them.
One of those days when you know that if the “Mom of the Year” award was being decided, and your name came up, the committee would laugh at the suggestion – or despairingly roll their eyes.
One of those days when you realize you didn’t eat breakfast, but then figure that saved calories, so you can just have some chocolate at 10am.
One of those days when you know there are chores to be done, but just figuring out which to do first is overwhelming.
One of those days when you long for nap time, but hate yourself for wishing away the day and time with your kids.
One of those days when you’re hit smack in the face with the reality that you CAN’T do it all and you’re not supposed to.
One of those days when you’re forced to fall into God’s arms and surrender.
One of those days when you realize how blessed you are.
(I’ve been having a lot of “those days” lately)