Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Taking That Next Step

Taking some time to 'Pour My Heart Out' on this Wednesday.

It's been nearly 3 months since our loss. Since we said goodbye to the child we won't get to meet this side of heaven.

Some days 3 months feels like an eternity. Others it feels like just yesterday. I suppose that's the same for any kind of grief.

It comes in waves. 

One moment the tide is low, I can breathe and move freely. The next moment the tide has swallowed me up and I can't get any air in my lungs.

My saving grace is grace itself. I have a life preserver that never fails me. One that gives me air when I feel like there's no way to get a breath. One that holds me together, when I'm sure I'm going to crumble into pieces.

So do not fear, for I am with you; 
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; 
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 
Isaiah 41:10

I'm still figuring out how to walk out this path He's set me on.  Still trying to figure out how to fully lean on Him when every ounce of my flesh wants to take matters into my own hands. I've certainly been stumbling more often than not lately, but I won't quit trying.

He won't let me. 

He calls me forward. Calls me to take that next step, and then another. He's moving me forward to a new place. A place where I'll be closer to Him than I was 3 months ago. I just have to take that next step.

And then another.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD,
'plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future'" 
Jeremiah 29:11

If you'd like to 'Pour Your Heart Out' - click the link and join us!


  1. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Your faith sounds strong and I agree, that is the question at hand - how to move forward.

  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds trite to say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but it's true. He uses ALL things for His purpose- even the horrible ones....

  3. I'm thinking of you. When I read your piece about walking and leaning, I pictured you simply sitting on the path (gaining strength, energy), and instead of leaning, you were resting in peace ... and God was near you no matter where you were on the path. Thanks be to God and may He comfort and nurture you through the ebb and flow of grief.

  4. Sending you prayers that you can keep taking those steps!

  5. It's been over two years since I lost babies #2 and #3 and I'm still taking these steps--still trusting that God is good and that there is purpose in all of this.

    Praying for you!