Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Just Say No

I used to see myself as the master multi-tasker. I could have three to four things going at once (if not more) and not even blink an eye. No big deal.

Now, that I’ve decided to do life sans-meds, things are a little different. Ok, a lot different. A WHOLE lot different.


These days, I can’t quite cut the mustard when it comes to multi-tasking. Again with the understatements… Fact is, I can’t multi-task worth anything lately. It’s been a bit of a blow to my ego.

I took pride in being able to multi-task. (I’d even been known to gloat about it – not that I should be gloating about anything). And now? Now, I feel like a massive failure when I can’t pull it off. But I’ve had to come face-to-face with the facts: I. Can’t. Multi-Task. Anymore. I can’t do it. (at least not right now) And if I’m being honest, I don’t like that I can’t do it.

When I try to do it anyway, I get overwhelmed, stressed (beyond what would be considered “normal”) and end up not really doing either or any of the tasks I was trying to do in the first place. It’s just a big, sad mess is what it is.

I know (in my head) that I need to do one task at a time, and focus on just that task. I know that. But I still can’t seem to quite DO that. Is that odd? I’m thinking it probably is. I just can’t seem to get past feeling like I COULD be getting more done if I would just TRY harder. But the harder I try, the worse it gets.

I also know that sometimes you just need to slow down. Take a break. Do essentially nothing. But (of course) I have a hard time doing that, too. I always have that nagging feeling that I’m “wasting” time and could be getting something done (of the many things that always seem to need to be done).

So, I’m having to re-wire my thinking on how to get things done around here. And being in the middle of that process is no fun. I should see it as a good thing – to learn to focus on one thing at a time, to slow down – but I’m not quite there yet. I’m trying, though. (even though I admit I started writing this blog while making dinner and feeding the dogs…)

And now I’m back on the wagon. Really. I promise. Except what if I need to get a seating chart made for the wagon and then find a driver of said wagon and…

(I’ll get back to you on how this wagon ride goes…)

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